The Night Before & All the Days After

Thank Time that 2012 is over. What a crap year. Between the bookends of being broken, first in February/March and then again in August/September/October, then soul crushed and broken again, and the regular poor decisions you make when shitty things happen to you, the sorts of things that are out of your control which cause you to become someone out of control; then add to it getting rides from police officers not once, but twice due to my family judging me not worthy of remembrance -- well, you can see why that year needed to end. Sure, it had its perks. I went to New York thrice, joined a pretty baller sketch group (long pause), and perhaps know better now what I am capable of emotionally, physically and mentally. These, these are good things. 

I wish I didn't have to learn in the ways I did, but the human spirit knows no bounds, right? And, I know from experience. CS Lewis says this about experience: “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” And that, that is truth in all its glory.

This is a draft buried from back in October. A particularly rough month, one that encapsulates my year in 82 words. Its contents are as follows:

I've only a few times woken up with all my clothes on from the night before.

Unfortunately, this seems to be a new Brigid Marshall trend.

SO dumb.

Everything about the situation I've found myself in is literally the dumbest.

Sometimes dumb is the best.

This is not one of those times.

This is a time where you're wondering where you're going in life. When you lost your maps. And why the iPhone's new app is screwing with your destination so hard.

Now that it's a few months out and away from the apparent clothing (hole) I was trapped in, and I can see slightly more clearly, I see this as sort of humorous. And while, yes, I did wake up in the clothes I wore yesterday this morning, it was for completely different reasons involving my cheap landlord who barely turns on our heat, rather than the tailspin of trying to forget my life by living in excess and pretending I was someone else. Today I feel glorious. It's 2013. And Thank Time for that.