There are always two types of girls. You've got Peggys. You've got Joans. You've got Mariannes. You've got Chrissies. You've got tomboys. You've got Barbies. It is what it is, what it is.
But what if you just. don't. fit. there? Sitcoms and shows, and HBO, and Cable, and movies have simplified females. They've simplified all of it, but I'm talking lady bits up in here. So, I have a theory, and I welcome you to come in and listen —
"Because we're not ugly, we're hot." Or rather, "Because we're not unattractive, we're thus attractive."
I said this in my head over and over again before typing it out. It sounds pretty douchey and at the least conceited, regardless of its truth or not. If you disagree with the sentence in quotations, first congratulations. I'm glad you have an opinion, more than I can say for a Chrissie. And, second, I said I'd explain. Cool your jets, ya jag.
For women, we're either fuckable or unfuckable. Crass. But, whatever. We're one or the other. You either want it or you don't. There isn't really a one-to-ten scale you can sincerely live by, and one person's opinion can vary from the next. You might call a girl a four, but if there's the possibility of sex, you'll try your damnedest to imagine her as a 10, and you just might succeed. Well done, you. That's just how science works. The thing is sex is just that, and these days for a lot of people who you're having it with is definitely part of it, but not necessarily all of it. I don't know if this argument carries over to lesbians, but maybe it does. As for the other way around, guys get a lot of leeway, which is probably why the phenomenon of the skinny fat abounds and why Kevin James is married to Steffiana de la Cruz in real life, and Leah Remini on King of Queens. I guess art does mimic life for ole Kevin. Woot!
Sure, there are other competing factors. Personality. Intelligence. Long-term Compatibility. Ability to commit to someone. Allergy to dogs. Nail-biter or not. Orders weird at Starbucks. The list goes on.
But, base instincts. This is it.
I've been sitting on this post for months now, and being a single lady in a pool of person, I can tell you right now that this is truth. The challenge is to siphon out and figure out just what it is you want out of life, and whether or not that even includes someone else. It shouldn't really matter whether you're a Taylor Swift or the apparently more attractive girl referred to in Tear Drops on My Guitar.
Procreation, or at least the act of it, is the great equalizer. In the moment anyone can be a ten or a one. And someone's Peggy might be another's Joan.
