Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How to Not Be Depressed During a Depression

1. Remember at least once daily, at least you’re not dead or dying. Don’t say things like, “But then I wouldn’t have to deal with this sh*t” right after. People will become worried about you, no matter how true the statement.

2. Write down five things you love each day, even if they’re seemingly dumb. Example: reading, capitalism, road trips, earrings, & lists

3. Blink a lot when you feel like you might start crying. Whatever you do, don’t let the tears well up, they will fall, and you will look and or be pathetic. You know what, carry tissues with you at all times.

4. Read a lot of books, and tell yourself things like: You’ll look back on this period as a great time in your life. At least you still have eyes. At least you can still process this novel intelligently. Look, you read a crap ton of Ayn Rand. You’ve always wanted to do that.

5. Listen to your iPod extraordinarily loudly whenever parents, siblings or friends attempt advice, which will not only be the opposite of helping, but will annoy you to no end.

6. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Meaning, if someone says they might be able to help you, don’t believe them until you’ve got your first paycheck in tow and you’re walking into a bank.

7. Substitute teach. Seriously, it’s a great way to make a few, and you get to feel intellectually superior to at least someone.

8. Continue donating money to good causes. You will feel better and you will have helped out someone else.

9. Volunteer. Even though it’s not a real job and you don’t get paid, it’s still a solid thing to jot down in your schedule. Filling up time slots is important.

10. Catch up on all that sleep you missed out on during those all night study sessions that really helped you get to this great place you are in now.

11. Take a deep breath. The water’s not warm. They lied.

Addendum: Don't think about what you don't have.

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