I've only been awake for seven and a half hours.

1. I finally found my to-go mug, and now I can't find the cap. So, since I had already poured my tea in my New York Times embossed cup I decided to take my chances at spilling. Mistake. I was in a rush, as per usual, and had to carry not only my cup without cap, but also my bowl of oatmeal and spoon, eight blocks. In attempts at having less a chance of spillage I thought, sure drink a huge sip of tea once you get to the stop sign. Piping hot. Mistake. I spit it out all over the sidewalk in front of a nice old Asian lady out for her morning walk. Once I got to Marco's car he thoughtfully opened the door seeing my hands were full and wet thanks to the tea. I ate my oatmeal quickly.

2. Today I called Brazil. I had to reach Stephane at his bookstore Galerie 1618. Brazilians speak Portuguese, Brigid Marshall's speak English with highlights of French. Handy. No, for real. I spoke to one of the employees in French because he didn't know English, and I am unfortunately not blessed with knowing Portuguese. Stephane was out, but now I have his cell phone. Alright. I get off the phone and am greeted to the wonderful sounds of affirmation. Whoa. Nice. Wow. Feels good.

3. Lunch around here runs like clockwork. It's 12:55 p.m. someone is going to Whole Foods, Safeway or somewhere else magical. Marco asks if anyone wants to join him, I say yes, hold on, as does Katie. But I look up a few minutes later. I had to finish printing a fax. They're gone. All gone. I went to Safeway instead. Got a baguette, some spinach, four plumes (I hope I like them), Special K Red Berries and a roast beef sandwich. Should be good.

Sunday afternoons are pleasant.

I forgot how much I like to write fiction. This afternoon I just started writing a bit of a story. I used to have a whole file of my fiction on my last computer. It's gone and so are all my stories. Makes me sad. That was always something I enjoyed. Writing for the sake of it. Some people flip on the television, which I do too on occasion, but writing to pass the time is fun. Singing along to Ryan Adams songs is also fun. I've been doing that all day. "Pearls On a String" is my favorite for the day.

"Blue eyes for miles. Pretty as a peach."

I just like that. I always wondered who the people who get songs written about them are. There's a part in the movie "The Holiday" where one character writes the "song" of another character, and I've always wanted to know what I would sound like, what a song of me would be. Musician couples intrigue me. Like Sheryl Crow and Eric Clapton in the 90s. She wrote "My Favorite Mistake" and performed songs like White Room together. Anyway,another song for another day.

I'm on a Beatles Binge

Beatles.
Across the Universe.

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva

HAVE YOU HEARD?

Can you believe it?

I don't know what's more ridiculous:

1. Someone actually took the time to make this sign, and probably believes it wholly.

2. That Snuffleupagus' first name is in fact: Aloysius. Yup. That's right. You guessed it.

3. That I found time during my work day to not only think up Sesame Street characters, but spelled this correctly on my first try, and found this hilarious photo. I mean, it's sad because he's been murdered. You know what I mean. I think I need more to do during the day, or I need people to get back to me faster, so I can interview faster and then write stories all day long...Ah.

Daily Grind

Sometimes, well, actually most of the time while I'm on gchat I'm invisible. I like being able to decide who I want to talk to and when. Feel lucky if I talk to you when the Red Light is out. I don't want to sound conceited, but it seems I get bombarded by people when I'm talking on gchat, hence invisibility. It's like having a super power without actually being able to tell anyone about it, because then I'll have to talk to them on chat. It's funny though, I've told a friend of mine from home about my invisibility technique, and now she either messages me when I'm actually not on thinking I'm ignoring her, or, she'll be invisible and neither of us will be none the wiser. Tricky.

I get a ride to work with my boss every day. Sometimes I get one with the Art Director and other times I catch one with one of Ode's main salesgirl. But usually, I'm cruising to the North Bay with Marco. It's a good deal. I leave with about 7 minutes to go, walk about 7 blocks and then wait at the corner of 22nd and South Van Ness. 8:15 am rolls around and Marco's wheels roll up. He's usually speaking in Dutch to someone—Ode's publisher, family member, other miscellaneous people. Sometimes I can pick up what he's saying, like words here and there. Last month, and I think still, there's been a mouse living in Marco's car. I haven't seen the little bugger, but I know it's there. One time Marco was talking to his father (I picked up) about the mouse (also picked up, the word is mouse, but more german sounding). When I asked Marco after he was done chatting how his father was, he was kind of taken off guard. For some reason because I could pick up the subject line and the person he was speaking with he assumed I had just begun taking Dutch. Oh, I might have forgotten to mention: Marco is Dutch. Actually, Ode was originally a Dutch magazine, and we still have offices in Rotterdam, the Netherlands. In any case, I think Marco's been trying to speak Dutch faster so I can't pick up, or maybe I just am not as language savvy as I had hoped. We've begun listening to books on CD using his portable disc player connecting it to his hilarious cassette set in the car. This thing is a piece of work, let me tell you. If you open the dashboard of the car you'll find a collection of tapes from the 90s and before including Dutch bands that have the sound of Pearl Jam's Eddy Vedder, Elvis and some Sigur Ros. We have a fun time rocking on the drives home when he's not speaking in Dutch to someone using his tiny earpiece. But perhaps the best part of Marco's Toyota Camry is the fact that it's eensie. At least for him, as he's over 6 feet tall and can hit his head on the top.

Well, today I caught a ride with the Art Director, and now I'm riding smooth in his Dodge, kind of reminds me of a hearse—but it's not.

Time, Space, Photos and Speed

I read this today:

"Everything is temporary. And that is neither good, nor bad; it's just temporary."

I don't know who said it, I just know i like it, and so, I wanted to share it.

It's funny, after reading this I suddenly wanted to know what the visual representation for time was. Naturally I googled the word time, clicked on images, and after getting a couple digitized numbers and then a few Time, Inc. Magazine covers, I found this photo. This blurred photo of people moving too quick to be captured. I like the idea of moving too fast for someone to actually catch you in focus. Something really cool about that to me.

further proof as to why i love natalie dee cartoons.

titled: le hotdog.

france me manques.

Today

Notes on Today.

-I took my coffee to work in a washed-out tomato jar. Explanation: My roommate nabbed my to-go mug, thus causing me to search the kitchen for a re-sealable container. Tomato jar was the only option.

-I reviewed the job applications I sent last night: One to U.S. News & World Report. (I accidentally wrote "form" instead of "from." That's a bummer. I can never decide if I should email them letting them know I found the error, or not email them and hope they didn't notice. If I emailed them and they didn't notice, then I'd just be drawing attention to this error. OR. They noticed and they wanted me to email them saying I found the error, thus showing my wonderful skillz as a journalist. It is toward the end, so if they got that far in the cover letter, perhaps they decided they wanted me, but then changed their minds once seeing "form." Damn. If only it wasn't 11:23 p.m. when I shot it off last night.

-I can no longer do multiplication. I tried to figure out how much a year $12/hour at 40 hours a week would get me. Somehow I came out with $13,040. I was about 10 grand off. Good thing I'm not studying to be a mathematician. (Note: the word "mathematician" looks not unlike martian. Concordance? Anyone?)

Growing Pains. Life Goes On Whether or Not Anyone Notices

I was thinking about this great scene in Growing Pains yesterday afternoon. I don't quite know how it ended up swirling about in my head, but it was there. Read below if you're curious, then I'll continue.

Mike: Hey dad!
Jason: What is it Mike?
Mike: Gilligan's Island is on every day at three thirty.
Jason: Mike I’m very busy, I’m trying to make a chart.
Mike: Dad, Dad, it's on whether I watch it or not. Gilligan the skipper too, the millionaire, his wife, the professor, and...
Jason: Marianne?
Mike: Exactly.
Jason: Mike, what's the point?
Mike: It's not on for me, it's just...on.
Jason: Mike, are you starting to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you?
Mike: Well, yeah, I guess I am.
Jason: Well, congratulations, you know you've hit upon one of the basic ideas in the philosophies of Camu.
Mike: Don't you see. If Gilligan goes on without me, so does my school. You know all day today life went on, even though I wasn't there.
Jason: Mike this is your first philosophical realization. I’m proud of you. See, you can learn from T.V.
Mike: Dad, all day today life went on without me, and you too...don't you realize, the world doesn't need us any more; it does just fine without us.
-Growing Pains, Season 1, Episode 21- "Career Decisions"

I haven't been diligently keeping up on my reruns of Growing Pains, the hit television show that captured the hearts of youngsters every time Jason and Maggie macked in the kitchen, every time Carol whined about being uncool, every time little Ben impersonated someone famous, and oh, indeed, every time Mike Seaver himself walked on camera. Anyway, the point is that this scene just sort of sprang to mind, specifically the line where Jason says, "This is your first philosophical realization." I was thinking about it because lately I've been applying to a whirlwind of jobs, as I'm now just over half-way finished with my internship with Ode, and I have to start thinking about my life some more. Since I've been in California I've been doing some cool things, meeting new people, catching up with old ones located here in the west, and learning about the magazine business—and that's been great. But, I'm just starting to think more about all the things I'm not doing, too. There isn't enough time in the day, and that is frustrating. If I had all the time in the world I'm sure my list of things I want to do would be similar to many: In no particular order:

1. Be an executive editor at a top-tier magazine
2. Work for a nonprofit
3. Step foot in every country, ie travel all the time
4. Raise a family
5. Be an actress
6. Own a vineyard and a farm
7. Hibernate in a cabin in Michigan all winter long
8. Be really good at skiing, snowboarding, fishing, kayaking, snowshoeing
9. Manage to get killer six-pack abs. (I know vain, but come on, who doesn't get jealous looking at Janet Jackson?)
10. Donate tons of time and money to international aid organizations
11. Live in Washington, D.C., Paris, London, New York, Chicago, Cork (Ireland)
12. Scuba dive and not be scared of sharks
13. Work at an NGO and do things to save humanity
14. I don't know, a handful of other things that I'll think up later.

I have a lot of ideas.

French, so I love it.

"Those who believe they believe in God but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself."

I got this in an email from my dear friend Paul. It's a quote from someone named Madeleine L'Engle. She's french, so not only do I love her, but I respect her. This time last year I was just starting to get used to living in France. I miss it.

Real World San Francisco

In reading Kiki Abba's hilarious blog [note, please read mine before hitting up hilarity], I realize mine are 100 percent lackluster. Sorry about that. I suppose I reserve funny stories for emails rather than blogs. I'm not sure. Either way, it was really nice to read Kiki's blog because she's basically in the same boat as me except hers seems way more fun. I mean grant it, she's in Seattle and I'm in San Francisco, both on the West Coast, both pretty hopping places, but man, she's got people her age at work and a steady crop of friends. That said, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who is scraping the bottom of my cash barrel, refusing to turn on lights in the dark and regularly make my lunch and bring it to work. It's also nice to know that other people go to the movies alone and hang out in coffee shops all day on the off chance that somehow I'll meet my new bestfriend while I turn pages of the latest David Sedaris book. "What's that? Oh, you love David Sedaris. Me too." And then a friendship was born. Too bad life isn't actually like that. I sat at the Sugar Lump on 24th street and Florida for three hours yesterday, reading, drinking my latte and getting Lemon Poppy seed muffin all over my black shirt. I was a sight to behold, and let me tell you, the only people that did look at me seemed to be concerned over my slob style eating technique. Needless to say, but I will anyway, I wouldn't have befriend me either.

In other news, I'm going to take myself to see the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants this week, probably go to a Yoga class, or just say I'll go and then not, have my first lesson on the banjo, which my housemate plays (woo Nancy), and maybe go to a 20-somethings dinner with this church I've started attending. Every weekend I have these big plans in my head of what I want to do, but somehow they get cast aside. I'm going to go to the San Francisco Zoo, see the Full House house, walk on the beach by the Golden Gate Bridge and see the DeYoung Museum.

Oh, and I'm also planning trips to Las Vegas, Los Angeles and going home to Chicago for a weekend in October. Yay!

Favorite Tunes as of Late

1. "Use Somebody," on Only by the Night, by Kings of Leon

2. "Save it for a Rainy Day," on Rainy Day Music, by The Jayhawks

3. "You Don't Know Me," unreleased, by Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor

4. "At Least That's What You Said," on Kicking Television, by Wilco

5. "Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise)," on As I am, by Alicia Keys

6. "Hard Rain," on Our Ill Wills, by Shout Out Louds

indian summer

san francisco may not do summer very well. and fall doesnt happen either. or so i feel. 80 degrees and rising in the bay area today. lovely city scapes are everywhere right now.