Apartments.

When the morning is just beginning there's the all too familiar Four-Second Hesitancy. Should you get up? Probably. Will you? Probably. But do you want to? Probably not.

Apartment hunting. It's a weekend activity akin to boating or taking your children to a park. It requires preparation and, depending on how long you'll be out and how far away everything is from the other, sunscreen. I must have forgotten how miserable apartment hunting is though, because I jumped readily at the chance to relocate. And now, here I am two weeks to go until I must go, and the road to free street parking and a coffee shop within walking distance is not yellow brick paved. I probably should have taken a Four-Second Hesitancy before giving up my darling Old Town two bedroom.

Oh, well.

Five Things I Love About 1950 N. Burling St., Apt. 2R
1. Knowing what the R stands for.
2. The purple blue wall.
3. Tricking your eyes.
4. Claws on the tub.
5. Open spaces. High Ceilings. Nice Porch.

San Francisco: nearly closing remarks

This week has been a good week. Recaps.

Sunday-Vetoed Sickness, got my operation Christmas Child box, saw Role Models with Brandon. Quality time, well spent.

Monday- Tired, but last week, so on my game, naturally. Have been charming and clever ever since. Caught up on Brothers and Sisters.

Tuesday- Celebrated a friend's birthday, attempted a human birthday present, failed. Somehow got home by 2:30 a.m. Pas Bueno.

Wednesday- Climbed! Up, Up and Up at Mission Cliff. Twas marvelous. Then got delicious quasadillas. Yum. Also got booted from my desk at Ode to make room for the new intern. It was all fine until I then got booted from my other desk to sit in the corner. Seriously. Therefore crept about the office in hopes of scaring people in just the right way, so they'll never forget me. So far it's going well.

Thursday- Office glory days. We all ate lunch together outside and had goodbye cupcakes. It's nice to feel like I actually count at the office. I got a Mostess cupcake, as in, the most delicious cupcake that resembles a Hostess cupcake, yet is somehow masterful in comparison. Yeah, that's right. That cupcake.

And the week's still continuing. Tomorrow, Friday, I will be in the office for a few hours then am headed to the city for San Francisco's Green Fest. That's the only way to clinch my time in this liberal fairy land. The pun was not intended, though is hilarious, so therefore works. My mom will be flying in, so she's going to meet me at the fest and enjoy herself as she basks in all the recycling, sustainable, energy efficient wonders of this great city. Then we'll eat steaks like real midwesterners. I'm looking forward to it.

it all counts. down.

Top Ten Favorite Things About San Francisco:

1. People here. They're all pretty fun.

2. Pub Crawls in the Mission District with pretty much strangers.

3. Museums and sites.

4. Union Square on crisp Sundays.

5. Sunsets here are brilliant.

6. Recycling Bins on streets. What a concept.

7. Mexican food.

8. Office dance parties slash sass.

9. Mountains in the backdrop.

10. Boats sailing away through Golden Gate.

I didn't take this picture. But it's accurate. I vouch.

spring break spring

is it really this time of year? is that little bunny hopping around corners already? do i seriously have to think about my career?

holy moly.

if i've ever been nervous, it's now.

when i think about my life and the various directions it could go i really tense up.

i shrink. it's unbearable to feel incompetent although i most likely am quite up to the challenge.

it's just — there's something about this finality that really frightens me.

and while i know that nothing is reversible, i can get out of whatever i fall into. i am that sort of person.

there is just so much i still feel like i have to do here, as a student, as a friend, and i'm scare that my friendships will deteriorate when i leave iowa city, especially the ones that might just now be blossoming.

while i hate to use rhetoric like that, i can't help but feel like it will all whither away. and maybe it's for the best. maybe i'll have amazing relationships wherever my feet land come june, but it hurts.

and although i'm anxiety ridden about this, it's not something that often comes into conversation. no one likes to talk about the ends of things. i don't, and that's probably why things from years past still occupy my thoughts from time to time.

do i just need to let it all go so life can move forward, or can i reconcile these two lives to each other — past and future converging into the present?

C'est presque fini...

I'm nearly finished with France. Rather, I'm nearly finished with my first go at France. I'm confident in my will to return to this country. Honestly, I really like France. I may not be shouting at the top of my lungs for Pau, but I certainly have enjoyed being away from home, both Chicago and Iowa City.

It seems surreal that I've got little over one week left here. I'm rehashing the sentiments of my last posts, but wow. You come to a country, know it really isn't home, but just when you've begun to call it that, the rug's snatched out from beneath your feet, and you're left with a bruise on your rump.

Would it be a terrible cliché or something like that if I said Pau will always be a bruise on my ass? Probably, but I've gone and said it anyway.

I've got so many stories about what's happened over the last few days, weeks and months, I don't think that when I tell them that anyone aside from those involved will get it. Maybe. But it's an extremely strange concept.

Some things I'm looking forward to comes next Sunday, December 23rd:

1. MacBook Pro

2. Sledding in 12 inches of snow

3. Christmas, for perhaps the last time at 995 Beverly

4. Speaking French when annoyed

5. Passing the time slowly

6. Taking showers at night

7. Central Standard Time