is it really this time of year? is that little bunny hopping around corners already? do i seriously have to think about my career?
holy moly.
if i've ever been nervous, it's now.
when i think about my life and the various directions it could go i really tense up.
i shrink. it's unbearable to feel incompetent although i most likely am quite up to the challenge.
it's just — there's something about this finality that really frightens me.
and while i know that nothing is reversible, i can get out of whatever i fall into. i am that sort of person.
there is just so much i still feel like i have to do here, as a student, as a friend, and i'm scare that my friendships will deteriorate when i leave iowa city, especially the ones that might just now be blossoming.
while i hate to use rhetoric like that, i can't help but feel like it will all whither away. and maybe it's for the best. maybe i'll have amazing relationships wherever my feet land come june, but it hurts.
and although i'm anxiety ridden about this, it's not something that often comes into conversation. no one likes to talk about the ends of things. i don't, and that's probably why things from years past still occupy my thoughts from time to time.
do i just need to let it all go so life can move forward, or can i reconcile these two lives to each other — past and future converging into the present?
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