L'Histoire de Brigid.

"For the last 365 days I've felt nothing but failure.

For a brief stint of time I felt successful. Very brief. Late summer fading into fall, things were alright.

First job seemed to be going well. The answer to my prayers, I suppose.

But, just like anything and everything else, it too faded.

I am very self-conscious, not very self-aware, and extremely self-loathing.

I am 23."

I found this in my drafts. My very first memoir. Quite dramatic. "Summer fading into fall"? Give me a break, Bridge. It's from almost three years ago. In a lot of ways I am exactly this same individual, down to my age. While I'm acutely aware of the fact that I am not in fact 23 years old, it's shocking to me how quickly a year or three goes when reflecting.

There's a post I wrote in 2009 recounting all the things I'd accomplished over the course of the year since graduation. [HERE] Actually, it was a great exercise in realizing the level of productivity one can be capable of when desperately searching for a job.

Perhaps I'll do it again someday (look for a job and write a list about it later, that is), maybe when I write a real memoir. So far this year I've read 10 books, at least three of which are memoirs from comediennes (and obviously the Hunger Games Trilogy, please). Right now I'm finishing up Mindy Kaling's "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me."

(The title is a thought I often have, most readily exemplified by a text I sent one Miss Allison Arnold a few days ago: "I hate this. I have no friends. I just want to grab a cocktail and hang out." Alli moved to New York. She did this secretly. Sorry I'm telling everyone*, Alli. Don't be mad.)

*Everyone equals the random explosion of readers I've gained in the last three days since restarting this blog Monday.

The one good thing about finding this odd draft, that I'm glad I didn't post at the time because it's just too Debbie Downer and would have worried my mom, is that while I haven't changed a ton, the ways in which I have are so great. Yes, I still feel like a failure sometimes, but I have a job that I like for the most part, have the Grrr, have Tim, have an agent (ie the beginnings of a career!) and have become more self-aware than self-conscious. Progress.

And on the even further upside, in three years I'll still be in my twenties. Hooray!