I carry them with me.

head first
drenched in it
soaked
every inch
sticky clothes stick to a sticky body
in the water
it all feels the same everywhere, and it feels — how it feels...it feels so much, so much all at once, and it is so nice. so nice. so nice —
but it's heavier
heavier not knowing how to navigate

completely and utterly
taken in
taken down

fully clothed
sinking further from the weight
water pressuring every cavity
the air bubbles disappearing
a flight of fancy
fancy
how fancy?

out
out out
the chill of the cool wind
icing from the outside in
the outside in
cool
how cool?
like ice it stabs

you can only jump in head first once,
because you know how it feels to come out
you know the cool
how cool?
not cool at all — cold. like ice. stabbing ice.

wading in.
it's the same thing but different
the water is different
holding your breath from the cold of the water anyway
it feels good, but bad. does the good outweigh the bad?
weight
the weight of the water
clothes drenched
saturated
enveloped

you know the density, the pressure, the weight of the water, and you can't handle it more than once. it feels like drowning, because it's drowning. and you need a life preserver — something to help you preserve your life, someone.

but preserving life as it is,
would you really like to preserve it?

cold. ice.
it stabs.
wind.
water.
drowning.
the weight. the weight.
the waters weight.
it weighs so much.
the pressure.