paradox.

So, I'm thinking about that quote from John Lennon. You know the one. "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." And, I've got to throw this stick in the mud out there, but let's be honest, he couldn't possibly have been the first person to coin this. There's no way that he just stumbled upon a profound reality. Every time has a first time, if life is indeed linear, but John Lennon, really? Humanity has been around for a while now, and I'd say this is a truth that's always been as such. Perhaps he got the verbage just right though before anyone else?

In any case, lately the notion of why we exist has been on my plate. Yes, I realize, it's a no big deal existential crisis. NBDEC. Thanks a bunch, Holy Week. (It's Holy Week right now, for those of you that aren't burdened with religion — the week leading up to the inevitable crucifixion of Jesus Christ.)

Perhaps it's the fact that I'm an awful Catholic, by way probably an awful person, because I just don't care. It's not that I don't care about people or things or getting what I want, I do, I just don't know why I should. I just know that I do.

The thing is, when I think about these things, there's never a point where I just say, "Oh, alright." The lights turn on and everything is dandy. When I think about these things I find myself alone, feeling broken, and not knowing where to go from here. Can you tell me, why are we here?

Chalk it up to whatever you want, but at this point it all seems meaningless, yet full of so much weight. I think paradox should have been the first word given definition.