Yesterday I went back and read most of my blogs that have led me up to where I am now. It was odd. All the ones of last year had to do with my impending life here in Pau and the impossibility of fitting everything into 24 hour days. How did I let myself get so busy? And how in the world was I able to enjoy anything with that much on my shoulders? It's only weird now because here in France it seems I have all too much time and none at the same time. I can't really comprehend this notion that has seemed to plague me throughout my university years. This same problem, I fear, is going to follow me everywhere. It's here in that I have nearly 23 hours of class per week, so I don't have enough time to spend doing other things (such as travel as much as I'd like or simply pass the time with new friends). There doesn't seem to be an even playing field for all the things I'd like to be doing versus those I must. In anycase, I'm bothered.
On an unrelated note, I have just over one month left of my study abroad experience, and it's as if I have nothing to show for it. Things have happened, yes, but at the same time it seems that everything is exactly the same, even though I know it isn't. One of my best friends has gotten engaged while I have been away, I have visited many places and met a lot of interesting and fun people, but I still feel as if I don't really know anyone. It's unsettling. What's more, is that the friends I have at home have gone on without me, not that they had any choice either. And I'm certainly not asking that they stay in the same spot I left them. No. That'd be unfair and impossible anyway. It's just odd.
It doesn't help anything that all of my expensive items save my hair straightener have been stolen. First it was just my iPod and camera, but once I got back from London I found my laptop and jewelry had vanished as well.
Anyway, I'll be sad to leave Europe, but it won't be that hard to leave Pau.
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