Rilo Kiley's "Silver Lininig"

And I'm not going back into rags or in the hole
And our bruises are coming
But we will never fold

And I was your silver lining
As the story goes
I was your silver lining but now I'm gold
Hooray hooray I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray but now I'm gold.

And I was your silver lining
High up on my toes
Well you were running through fields of hitchhikers
As the story goes

Hooray hooray I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray but now I'm gold
Hooray hooray I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray but now I'm gold

And the grass it was a ticking
And the sun was on the rise
I never felt so wicked
As when I willed our love to die

And I was your silver lining as the story goes
I was your silver lining but now I'm gold
Hooray hooray I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray but now I'm gold
Hooray hooray I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray but now I'm gold
But now I'm gold
But now I'm gold
But now I'm gold

Hopefully, eventually, one day, maybe I will feel like I'm gold. Right now I'm just walking around feeling like a blank slate, but in a bad way. It's like I have nothing there. Sort of depressing, right? Yeah. I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't this way, but it is. One of these days.

Real Life Edit.

Facebook, Twitter, Blogging, etc.: all just edited versions of yourself.

More people should realize this.

And be careful, if you admit your favorite movie is Clueless, be prepared to either laugh about it, or defend it in all seriousness, all likely to get a good jolly. That goes with 30 Rock quotes and interests.

What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?

What do employers want from me? I have about one thousand sent items to companies, corporations, publications and anything else in between, and dammit: I don't know what these people want from me.

How do you convince Jane No Name and her colleagues that you're totally, utterly, and completely, the lost individual they've been searching for all this time...without saying just that. Subtlety. I don't have it, I guess. I mean, seriously. I don't know Jane. I know her company, her brand of human, and I can imitate it all I want, but that doesn't mean that I fit, or even that someone will take the time to sift through the thousands of emails that funnel through 7 seconds after posting on Craigslist.

Thank Ed2010.com for that one. I look on that journalism job site, along with JournalismJobs.com and MediaBistro.com about a zillion times per day, week, month, yadda yadda yadda. It tells me who's looking, and today for the first time it told me why they weren't looking for me.

Other than the fact that being over qualified is now a turn-off, I'm not that surprised. [Also, I don't 'get' the whole over-qualified. Why is being ahead a bad thing, why is having a lot of experience a deterrent? John McCain and I ponder this every day.] But at the same time, even if you don't make one of these 10 careless errors, you and your silly letter will still be neglected. Lost in the Email Abyss, sorry to say. I came to a conclusion that made me highly depressed.

Basically: there's nothing I can do about it. My life is out of my hands all the time, and it's spinning out of control.

I don't like it.


For More on Joblessness and Out of Control College Graduates, check out: http://www.middleness.wordpress.com

Will Your Love Be Safe With Me?

"Re: Stacks" from Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago

This my excavation and today is kumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed


I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell


On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks are your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load


I've twisting to the sun I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down
In a frozen ground


There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed
And he's dangling my keys he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?


On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load


This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me

big ideas. friends. change.

"A big idea will change you. Your friends may love you, but they don't want you to change. If you change, then their dynamic with you also changes. They like things the way they are; that's how they love you - the way you are, not the way you may become... Good ideas alter the power balance in relationships. That is why good ideas are always
initially resisted." ~ Hugh Macleod

I don't give a damn, I'm happy as a clam

"Nobody Knows Me At All"
from The Weepies.

When I was a child everybody smiled, nobody knows me at all
Very late at night and in the morning light, nobody knows me at all

Now I got lots of friends, yes, but then again, nobody knows me at all
Kids and a wife, it's a beautiful life, nobody knows me at all

And oh when the lights are low
Oh with someone I don't know

I don't give a damn, I'm happy as a clam, nobody knows me at all
Ah, what can you do? There's nobody like you. Nobody knows me at all

I know how you feel, no secrets to reveal, nobody knows me at all
Very late at night and in the morning light, nobody knows me at all
Nobody knows me, nobody knows me, nobody knows me at all