Un-unique

Elaine Terre, Ellie to her friends, leaned gracefully over her egg white porcelain sink. Her eye make-up smudged all over her upper and lower lids. Trapped in the corners of her hazel eyes were the remnants of tears she was attempting to wipe away.

"I'm just done." She thought it out loud. "I'm just," a pregnant pause, an exasperated sigh, "done."

She'd been fired. It felt like a glorified dumping. Broken up with by the career that didn't want her anymore. Left alone on the skirts of Unemploymentville Co. Population: her. She felt like a cliché, and all of her thoughts backed that feeling up.

It happens to everyone. The phrase echoed in her head from a conversation she'd finished earlier that evening with her sister. Her sister, Carolyn, was an attractive young woman, aged 29, single, with a semi-high-powered career on the way to an actual high-powered career in fashion merchandising. She had little empathy for anyone when it came to relationships, jobs or general livelihood, likely due to her lack there of.

Carolyn and Elaine had a tumultuous relationship growing up, not unlike most sisterly relationships. Elaine, being the younger, found talking to Carolyn exacerbating, and would dodge opportunities to do so regularly —that is she until Carolyn would figure out a way to corner Elaine into conversation, often by trapping her in actual corners.

During the summers the pair would play a game in their country club swimming pool called, Spider. Essentially, one of the girls would hold onto the sides of the pool, often in a corner, with their legs spread while the other would have to attempt passage through the triangulated legs and arms of her sister without touching. If one indeed touched, even a hair, a strike would be marked. Three strikes and you would have to run around the perimeter of the pool. It doesn't sound as bad in retrospect, but summers in the midwest still brought about a cool air that made the pool a warm sanctuary once you were in, as the outside world remained an icy fortress.

Ellie thought about all those memories as she starred past her own reflection, wiping away her history and whatever Revlon still clung to her cheeks. Still, more tears clouded her vision.

Was I wrong? She questioned for the nth time. But she knew the answer. No, she wasn't wrong. And, she shouldn't have been as upset as she was.

It happens to everyone, El. 

I love the 80s. Ryan. The Office. And Prima Donnas.

I've pretty much been watching this video since last Thursday night. And just today watched the "making-of" video. Also hilarious. I think I'm going to watch it again. Right. Now. Join me?

Kaling, Kaling, Kaling.

"Neon is the new metallic? Indians are the new Jews? You can waste a lot of your day coming up with “blank is the new blank”s. But since I’m out on script this week and have no one to talk to all day, I can think about it all I want. So yeah, neon is the new metallic. I love the way neon looks. It’s part 80’s all-star and part traffic cone. Either way, it’s totally playful and great."

I love Kelly Kapor. By default I love Mindy Kaling. She is the actress who plays Kelly Kapor. She should just be Mindy Kapor...or something. Kelly Kaling. Good names.

Anyway, this actress slash writer/blogger is hilarious. I just started reading her blog "things that i bought that i love," and it's wonderful.

Come on, "It’s part 80’s all-star and part traffic cone." Too good.